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Extreme Sadness
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New!
AUG-3-04
17:16:2
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Forum: Prayer Requests and Answers
RE: Extreme Sadness
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Submitted Anonymously
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Dear Friend:
I am certainly praying for you, and would like to add that letting go is one of the hardest things we do, especially when there's a two-way relationship, rather than a one-way attraction. No question but that these are the things that try our faith.
I can only pass along a few things acquired from personal experience:
1) You have to keep going, even when you don't see any happiness in the future without this person. For a while, you won't. Everything looks very bleak, and very lonely, and even worse, you've already been through that territory once with the end of your marriage. Right now it sounds as if you are struggling, and grieving. Both of those things are ok. But grieving especially is a process of time, and I've never found any shortcuts through it. There usually comes a moment, though, when the wound is still tender, and the scar is delicate, but the rawness is gone, and at that moment, you get the idea that things are going to get brighter.
2) Horrible as this sounds, you may need to pray for strength to cut the agony short. There's nothing so painful as holding onto a relationship that doesn't work, and trying with all your strength to resuscitate it. That may mean (ouch, I'm sorry) telling him no more games, blocking his e-mails, and getting a different phone number -- or more stringent actions, if he knows where you live and decides to give you problems.
3) This is even harder. Work on loving yourself. I don't know how long ago your divorce took place, or the reasons behind it, and they're none of my business, but one thing I've learned is that you cannot, must not, rely on another person to make you whole, or loved. It's too easy to do, and it never works in the long run. It's also easy, especially when we're feeling unlovely, to start looking for someone to love us and make us feel valued again. Perhaps now may be a very good time to start looking for the positives in you, the talents that God gave you, and the contribution you can make to the world, single or otherwise. It's much easier to stand alone when you are making a meaningful life for yourself; and that meaning almost always lies in reaching out to someone else who is hurting or needs some kind of help. I don't mean that you should take unnecessary risks or involve yourself with people who are dangerous to you; but when you have the chance to touch a life, volunteering through a group or otherwise, then consider what you can do to make the world a little better for another person. If nothing else, it gives you a reason to get out of bed, and something to concentrate on besides pain. (Medically speaking, the more we think about an injury, the more it hurts.) It doesn't mean that you can't, or won't, think about it, but making the attempt to distract yourself can buy you minutes here and there to begin recovering.
4) The fact that you love God and God loves you doesn't mean you don't have a reason to cry. Pain hurts. It doesn't mean you lack faith, and it certainly doesn't mean you're failing as a Christian. It means you fell down, skinned your heart, and Oh, ouch, Lord, I'm hurting here. There's a picture I see in my mind, sometimes, of God reaching out to hold us when we cry. In that picture, He is crying too, not because He can't fix it, or because He doesn't have something better, but just because we hurt, and He hurts for us.
5) One last thing to hold onto: It's (I believe) an Ellen G. White quote, paraphrased here, and I try to remember it (not always successfully) when things are worst.
"God will not lead us other than we would choose to be led, IF [emphasis mine] we could see the end from the beginning." And someday, I believe we will.
May God give you an especial peace as you continue in your walk with Him.
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New!
AUG-1-04
2:37:5
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Forum: Prayer Requests and Answers
RE: Extreme Sadness
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Submitted Anonymously
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....Rather than doing the finger-pointing/trite comment sort of thing, I'm going to address your pain...
Seven years ago I fell heavily for a lady here in my home state and in my faith. Red hair, about average height, and attractive.... ( in my case, I felt I had as much chance of being in a romantic relationship as, well,.....). Being that the case with me, I fell for her and pursued her. However, this straight-as-an-arrow Christian would have nothing to do with me. This REALLY hurt, especially as time went on and I "felt the clock of human history ticking". I prayed for things to work out. NOTHING HAPPENED. As time went on and my frustration grew, I let God have it - WITH BOTH BARRELS !! I was so SICK of God, just sitting there, knowing my need for a companion, laughing in my face & giving me 'the digit'. I hated Him, I cursed Him, I rebelled against Him, a Being who demands absolute obedience while literally not caring or providing for His own in turn. I screamed at Him, I told Him where to go, I threw the Bible across the room. I WAS ENRAGED AT HAVING TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS FOR HIM WHEN HE DIDN'T CARE !!
WHERE _WAS_ HE ?!?
Well, in June of 2000 I found out where He was. A mutual friend took me out to eat someplace during a visit and dropped the bombshell that this straight-as-an-arrow Christian had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. That flu she had in February Was Not The Flu !
How repentant was she? I'll give you a hint - she spoke of having a boyfriend ( not in a church, by the way ) and then of having gotten pregnant two days after breaking up with him - in a casual voice. Now read between the lines and figure out for yourself where she missed the point....
God, the One I had cussed at extensively, the One I had deliberately rebelled against for things not working out, had in fact been helping me the entire time, had in fact known being rejected and betrayed would have shot me down spiritually, was instead Helping Me And Protecting Me The Entire Time I Was Praying And Cursing Him Against His Will.
It's a hard lesson to learn. I'm not pretending to have that lesson down pat, and my distress over my landlord's actions prove that. What I CAN SAY is that there is no doubt in my mind anymore as to the 'remore' possibility of God looking over us - HE DOES.
I hope this helps. God Bless You Very Much...
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New!
JUL-31-04
3:44:34
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Forum: Prayer Requests and Answers
Extreme Sadness
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Submitted Anonymously
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Dear Friends in Christ, I have been a christian for many years. I am struggling with the fact that I raelly fell for a guy on this websight and it seems he does not feel the same. I thought I would never fall again after a heart shattering marriage and divorce. I keep in the Word and love God with my whole heart but I keep crying into the night. I know God cares and He is faithful. I wonder why I love this guy so much! Please pray he will stop emailing me and playing games because it hurts me. I know it's good to wait and see but I am so conflicted I can't see strait. I have visited him twice and he has been my way once. He didn't honor bounderies very well. Please pray God will help me praise Him and let go of this guy. Thanks!!! I am truly thankful!!
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